Remember Two Things


 If you could impress just one lesson, ideal or moral on your kids, what would it be?

That is the question. A loaded one too…..damn. But the answer is easy. Personally, there are two very important ones, and I’m not picking a favorite. They are equal.  I try my dead level best to make sure The Beans always remember that helping others is their greatest mission. Expanding on that, our Family Tribe has adopted the mantra of

“It’s always better to give to others when you don’t have enough for yourself.” 

Why…you ask? Because it reminds us to give with our whole heart, put aside our own wants or needs, and really focus on helping whomever happens to call upon us. So far, so good. There have been a few times when this lesson has rung true and been exemplified for The Beans in our home. You see, on two separate occasions, we had the opportunity to help out dear friends who found themselves without a place to live, and short on funds. One had been unemployed for a stretch, and didn’t even have a car (wtf? no car in LA…impossible). But he did have a need, which was a stable place to stay so he could have visitation with his precious daughter, as he and her mama had decided it best to part ways. At the time, we had a very large home with more than enough room, but we were pretty short on funds ourselves after a series of unfortunate events and suffering the hidden agendas of backstabbers people we no longer associate with (post for another day). In reality, we were behind on our mortgage and in the process of losing the house. More people would mean larger grocery, utility and water bills. We considered all this for as long as it took for him to answer his phone and learn that he had a home….as long as we did. We did the same thing a few months later, for another friend, and suddenly the house was full, and bubbling with energy. As a home should be.

Shortly thereafter, we all had to move.

But the lesson had been taught, and most importantly….we created a FRIENDAMILY. People whom we consider family and will always jump through hoops for. People who don’t share our common blood, but would be there in the blink of an eye if called upon to help. After all, you just never know when you may find yourself with a need, and it’s nice to ‘have people’. What you put out into the universe comes back tenfold, so I try to put out positive light and energy as opposed to venom, because Karma….well, she’s a bitch sometimes. Okay, most of the time, so I prefer to keep on her good side.


The other lesson is to BE RESOURCEFUL.

Just like the photo says,

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”  

The Beans see this one all the time, but never more clearly than when I am at the computer writing. You see, I started this blog back in January, at a time when our family was in dire straits,  and I was terribly depressed. The days were not good for me. I wrote about it here. I needed an outlet for bitching creativity and I have never been great at journaling in the tangible sense. So here I am. A few months into this blog, my ability to use what I had (English degree) from where I was (home) to do what I could (write) landed me a real writing gig, that I thoroughly enjoy. You can read a little about that here. And thus, I proved myself rather resourceful in the eyes of The Beans. Of course I do that in other ways too….like figuring out how to fashion a forgotten art project due the next day at school out of food on hand, paper goods, duct tape and ribbon….because we had to….at midnight when every store was closed. That’s just how we roll… MacGyver and shit.

Anyway, I could probably go on forever about things I want The Beans to know. There are so many. Impression by example will just have to do in order to get the points across. Sort of ‘real life training’ and ‘flying by the seat of our pants’ without throwing our manners out the door of course. Because manners will take you a long freaking way in this world. Oh hell…here I go again…

That is all. Really.

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  1. I loved this post. The more I get to know you, the more I want to move to LA so I can soak up all of your good traits! I think these are awesome lessons, and I’m going to refer back to this over the years so I can ensure I’m instilling the same things into my daughter.

    You’re a good person, my friend!


    • Thanks, Dani! There are so many more things I try to make sure resonate with my girls, but these keep jumping to the top of the list 🙂 And I’m so flattered that you would want to refer back to this as Bubbs gets older!! That’s such a compliment. And please move to LA. We would have too much fun, I think!!!

  2. Amazing and so so true now, in the aftermath of the hurricane. There were so many people who reached out to one another and those, unfortunately who did not. It’s a terrific person who “gets it” and extends themselves past their own bubble.

    • You have to. Always. Because at the end of each day, we all belong to each other, and in order to maintain a prosperous human race, we must look out for our fellow man!

  3. Aw, I want to be in your friendamily!

  4. Ohh I loved this story. So so great. You are a true friend and those are really hard to find. You are teaching your kids two very important things in life and I know they will be grateful for that. I’m totally stealing your things cause I want my kids to have this also….hope you don’t mind…haha. Great post. I have to go thru your blog more

    • Steal away! I’m flattered that you’d want to 🙂 To me, it’s just natural to be this way. My mama used to say, “If you are livin’ your life the right way, everything will be okay.” This is just my way of living 🙂

  5. Those are wonderful lessons and values! I totally believe in Karma and positive energy! Sounds like your kids are super lucky to have you, your husband, family, and friendamily!

    • Thanks so much! Every now and then, I wonder what The Beans are actually absorbing. And then I’ll get validation in one way or another, that, I’m not doing too bad as a mama. Sugar Bean handed me a letter she had written one day, that brought tears to my eyes, but was so incredibly needed, as I was feeling a bit like a failure. It confirmed that in her eyes, I was doing absolutely fine, and sending the perfect messages. I blogged about it. The post title is “In the eyes of others….I am enough”, if you’d like to read it 🙂

  6. running mama says

    That was beautifully put. Ditto

  7. I’m with everyone else who has read this before me. Wonderful values. You’re an amazing, beautiful, person. I was raised by Southern People, and it’s this, it’s all of this, love, and friends are family, that reminds me so much of my Grandma.

    • Wow. Thanks for such kind words. And if there is one thing the South is famous for…’s hospitality! Just trying to spread that around the world a little bit. Oh, and I’m glad this post stirred memories of your Grandma 🙂

  8. Helping others rarely comes at an ‘ideal’ time for us. It says way more about you than anything and helps show us what we are made of. Being resourceful forces our creativity to blossom too… and that is a gift itself. BTW, is that considered ‘re-gifting’? Great article, as usual 🙂 X

  9. Friendamily…I am totally stealing that word. With credit to you, of course! This was a great post. I love meeting new to me bloggers and finding out we aren’t too much different even though we live thousands of miles away is just the cherry on top. I have friendamily here in Chicago that I love so much. Nice to meet you and love your blog. Can’t wait to read the next post.

    • Thanks so much! I also enjoy meeting new bloggers and discovering how very similar we are 🙂 Nice to meet you as well and I look forward to reading more of your blog as well…..and to many more TT’s 🙂

  10. You are so fabulous that you have been awarded the Sunshine Blogger Award! Only 5 people get it (from me) and you are one! Claim your prizes here:

    Happy Friday!!

  11. I think this is my favorite post of yours that I have read. I love the quotes and the philosophy. I thought of jumping in for TT this week but didn’t end up having time but this was the same kind of message that I wanted to share. Also, I adore your “friendfamily” term. A friend and I often talk about the families that we create for ourselves, in addition to our families of origin, and the great balance (and increased sanity) they provide. We are having Friendsgiving this year as a result:)

    • Oh, I’m so glad you enjoyed the post! We’ve been having Friendsgiving for years. Of course it’s in conjunction with Thanksgiving, because we just invite all of our friends…especially the orphans, who don’t have family nearby…over to our Family Thanksgiving. It’s always a lively celebration!!

  12. This is the season for such a beautiful post. Everyone should give what they can whether it’s time, money, a couch, an ear, or a smile.


  1. […] her to bits. She is awesome in every way possible, and she inspires me to be a better person. Read this post and you will understand […]

  2. […] Especially to a mama who is trying very hard to make sure her Beans realize the importance of  these lessons, through living examples like this.  Anyway, here is what she wrote, and illustrated. I believe it […]

Give it to me straight. I can take it :-)

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