M. This one’s for you.

Pretty much sums up my personality.

Pretty much sums up my personality.

Seriously.

It’s also precisely why I try not to engage in conversations about religion, politics or parenting, with family, friends, friends of friends, potential friends….oh hell…even perfect strangers for that matter. It just doesn’t pay off. For me.

I will, however, argue over just about anything else. For example, this. For as long as it takes to win. Or beat my opponent down.

Or I turn blue in the face while correcting their grammar to save face.

Or both.

I realize this is not a redeeming quality, and often leads to the silent treatment for hours at a time from The Man, and The Oldest Girl. Who, btw, is just like me. A formidable opponent, if only she had the years of life experience I have up on her.  Wait, did I just put THAT out into the universe? Crap.

Anyway, this talk of arguing brings me to my second post about blessings. My first was about one of my besties, Grace. Who, btw, gave birth to a perfect baby boy named  Ayden, 19 days ago. Mama and baby are doing marvelously. I am thanking God for that, and for the fact that he is a HE, because do we ever need some blue up in here to balance out all this pink 🙂

So.

This blessing post is dedicated to my sweet friend Marilynn. You can visit her blog here. She’s amazing. And just became even (to quote my Youngest Girl) “amazing-er”, recently. I’d tell you why, but it’s not my story to tell. So you’ll just need to follow her blog and see what happens, I guess. So there.

Right about now you are probably wondering how on earth I’m going to tie this into my love for arguing, aren’t you?  The thing is, I met Marilynn 5 years ago, via a cyber argument on a now defunct parenting site called CityMommy. Oh how I miss CM!  The topic? Spanking. The mother of all, “do not comment on” topics you might see on an open discussion forum on a parenting site. Yep. I swallowed the bait….hook, line and sinker. No. That’s wrong. I actually ate the pole, come to think of it.

Maybe even the boat, too.

Of course, this was before I decided never to engage in conversations about parenting. In fact, it was the very first time I ever had, on the first parenting site I had ever joined. Call it a rookie mistake. Yes, that’s it.  And, although I, metaphorically speaking, got my ass chewed out while doing so, I made quite a few friends in the process. Still have most of them to this day. Shocking isn’t it?  By now, you’ve figured out where I stood on the topic, haven’t you? I should add that being the opinionated Capricorn I am, I argue with organization, efficiency, and grace. Especially from behind a computer screen. No, I don’t hide behind it. What you read is what you get, and I have no problem saying it to your face. Period.

Anyway, the debate on CM lasted several days and resulted in me inviting a relative stranger to travel halfway around the world to stay with me and my family in our house, so I could gather up all the participating CM’s in Los Angeles and throw a party in her honor. My sister who lives in Alabama was also involved in this shindig, but that’s another blessing story altogether, and I have to work up to it. Might be a novel all by itself.

So, now we are back to Marilynn, and why she is a blessing in my life.

Quite honestly, she is one of the reasons you are reading this blog at all. She’s a physically stunning, wise woman, phenomenal mother, gifted educator, published author and experienced mommy blogger. In other words, she wears many hats and knows the ropes. The ones I’m up against daily. Except for the whole physically stunning/published author part, because I look like a tiny, gray-rooted troll in worn out yoga pants on a good day. And the only thing I’ve published is this blog.

At any rate, I asked for her help, and she started spewing advice left and right. She explained why I didn’t have any followers, despite the fact that I started the blog over a year ago on a different site. “That’s more of a visual blog site. Not one for content heavy bloggers like us,” she said, matter of factly.  Then, she sent me a link on how to move the blog to WordPress. And here I am. Honestly, if word gets around, and I become known in the blogging world as a force to be reckoned with….WordPress owes her, big time. What I will owe her, goes without saying, of course.

Marilynn and I are two women from completely opposite sides of the world, with radically different ideas about parenting and motherhood, who bonded over the common ground of an argument and developed a glorious friendship in the years following. How about that? She even taught me how to Skype! Once that got going, we chatted at least once a week for very long periods of time. That is how we truly became friends, and discovered we had quite a bit in common, despite our divides. Obviously what everyone says is true. The more you talk to someone, the better you know them. Lines of communication really are essential. Keep them open, even if they are lines of disagreement.

And if you lose the connection? Call back. It’s usually worth the time.

Over the past year or so, Marilynn and I stopped making time to chat. Or maybe just I did. My life got really mucky and all up in the way, and I decided to hide. Recently, I’ve come out of hiding and she was right there, waiting on me, and our conversation picked up just where it left off. Easy and comfortable, between two old friends.  Want to know the best part? She’s really attentive, and listens when she knows I need her to, and then says all the right things after I’m done rambling.

That’s the real blessing.

And M….You just have no idea the can of worms you have opened.  Thanks for that 🙂

xo,

N

Comments

  1. Is there anything more beautiful than a friendship coming out of an argument, methinks not!

  2. You made me all teary!

    Miss you so much, Miss Nancy.

    Can’t wait for the can of worms. They are healthy, I’ve decided 😛

    XXX

Give it to me straight. I can take it :-)

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