truths and quotes

Playground Etiquette (aka ‘how NOT to piss other moms off’)

October 4, 2012 by calibamamom 12 Comments

True story.

Buckle up folks, it’s about to get real up in here. I have joined forces with a group of bloggers for ‘Themed Thursdays’. Today’s theme is PLAYGROUND ETIQUETTE.

Having three daughters I’ve done considerable time at the various parks/playgrounds in the LA area, frequented by mommies and children from all walks of life, and um…parenting styles . In other words, I’m pretty up on this shit. You know, etiquette and stuff. After all…I AM a Southern girl whose mama pretty much raised me with Amy Vanderbilt‘s book in one hand and Emily Post‘s in the other. Unfortunately, there aren’t any chapters in those reference books covering this subject, so I’ve made up my own set of rules.

Read them. Learn them. Live them.

1. Accept that kids throw sand, or wood chips, or whatever happens to be the ground covering of choice at the given park. Sometimes it’s by accident, sometimes it’s on purpose. Regardless, unless the ground covering is rocks….which is stupid anyway….don’t act like my child has assaulted yours with a deadly weapon, and then step in to reprimand my child before I’ve had a chance to, if this happens. Believe me, I know my girls aren’t perfect. They make mistakes. ALL CHILDREN DO. Even yours.

2. If you decide to bring sand toys to the park, realize they will get picked up, licked, and played with…perhaps even broken… by children other than your own. Put your initials or family surname on each and every toy, and be prepared to search around the play area to retrieve them when it’s time to go. And if you aren’t a parent who thinks sharing is a good lesson to teach your child, or you’ve invested the equivalent of a mortgage payment in super cool, unique looking play things in an attempt to grab the attention of every ~~parent~~ kid….leave the fucking toys at home. Because all it does when you try to keep toys away from other kids, is make you look like a controlling bitch raising a selfish kid.

3. Back to the labeling of toys….If, after leaving the park you discover that you have mistakenly picked up someone else’s toy(s) in your haste to get to your next destination, please be courteous and return to the park immediately if possible, but definitely the next day and seek out the owner of the items. Ask everyone at the park if it’s theirs, or put up signs with your cell number if necessary. Because chances are, the kid it belongs to really, really loved whatever it was and threw a nasty tantrum as soon as he/she found out it was missing. Even if they had never even played with it once!

4. Make sure your kids take turns. Don’t let them hijack the swings for an infinite amount of time. Or sit at the bottom of the slide preventing other kids from sliding down. That’s just plain rude, and you know it. And more than likely, if it goes on long enough with no intervention from you, I will allow my kid to slide down anyway, and literally boot yours off with their feet so they land face down in the sand/wood chips/grass. Just sayin.

5. If you are having a group play date, and some of the kids are old enough to utilize riding toys like Razor scooters or bikes or whatever…..don’t let them zoom through the most crowded area of the park at breakneck speed as if they have blinders on. It’s very dangerous, and usually ends up in an injury….and maybe even a lawsuit…against you. I mean, those helicopter parents who freak out about sand throwing would have a field day with that shit.

6. When visiting a park with a ‘water feature‘, make sure your kid knows that just because someone is sitting near the refreshing spray, does not mean they wish to get drenched, while you sit back and laugh because they are splashing recklessly. Oh, and if you happen not to know the park has a water feature and you come unprepared (i.e. without swimming attire) don’t let your kid play in it naked if he or she is over the age of say…2. I’m all for being naked, and teaching my girls to be comfortable with their naked bodies in the right environment…our fenced back yard, our home or in the bathtub. But a public park is not the appropriate environment.

7. Either feed your kid before coming to the park, or bring snacks. Do not allow he/she to take my child’s food while she is not looking, after we have indicated that we didn’t have enough to share. Scavengers are just not welcome. Yes, this really happened, and the mother did nothing. I wanted to feed HER a mouthful of sand.

8. If my child is throwing a tantrum because she has a splinter in her foot, and will not let me get it out, which results in me loudly threatening to cancel the playdate we are at the park to have because she refuses to walk or let me extract the splinter….DO NOT try to swoop in uninvited and be Florence Nightingale. I got it. Thanks.

9. Keep an eye on your kid instead of playing on your smartphone, or gossiping about the latest celebrity to your friend. Don’t assume just because he or she is engaged in play with my child, that I want to be your babysitter. I mean, I WILL NOT discipline your kid if he gets out of line, and if mine takes off in a swift run in another direction, what do you think I’m gonna do? Stay with yours while mine darts off towards the street? Yeah, right.

10. Last but not least….play well with others… yourself. Don’t be a bitch, who thinks her kids are perfect and can do no wrong. They aren’t. That really isn’t setting a good example for your kids, and you won’t make any mommy friends at the park. So there.

Filed Under: blogger shout outs, family, funnies, just me, motherhood, random thoughts, rants and raves, truths and quotes Tagged With: brutal honesty, do's and don'ts, etiquette, playing with others

Easter Week

April 3, 2012 by calibamamom 7 Comments

The Easter Haul a few years ago

Is it really time to do baskets, again? That’s all I can think about. Commercialism at its finest, I know.

Although I’m a good person, I suspect I might be a terrible Christian, headed to Hell in my very own handbasket for thinking of this first. Before really reflecting on Easter, and the days leading up to it. At least I’m honest though. And for what it’s worth, while in church this past Sunday, the thought did cross my mind that I should watch “The Passion of the Christ“ again. Hmm.

Maybe what I am trying to say….admit, I suppose…is that I wasn’t really raised understanding the root of the religious holidays. Of course, I know the stories. The ones printed in simplistic language in children’s books, because I have read them to my girls. Ironically, we seemed to only attend church ON HOLIDAYS when I was growing up. Yes, I claim Christianity as my faith and basis for religious belief. But I have never read the Bible cover to cover, can’t quote scripture, and avoid discussions about religion, because…

I feel inadequate and lost talking about something I don’t really know a lot about.

Dare I say, it makes me very uncomfortable.

“Why?” I ask. I’m smart. I can learn, can’t I? And what’s more, I really believe there is something bigger than me, keeping watch. How else can I explain the little miracles I experience from time to time? Or the fact that whenever I attend this one specific church, I cry as soon as the music begins. Isn’t that me being “overcome by the spirit”? That being said, I have no explanation as to why, or what my idea about it is. My logical brain, geared for tangible thought, can’t wrap itself around the notion of a being, sitting up in the clouds, behind a set of pearly gates on a throne. Nor can I say I believe in a horned demon under the ground, wielding a pitchfork, keeping watch over the fiery pits of Hell.

To me, Heaven would be an endless Dave Matthews Band concert where I could lose myself in the music while dancing forever, surrounded by all my friends and family, who of course, love DMB as much as I do. Now THAT’S Heaven!! And Hell? Lately, I would almost certainly tell you I’m going through it. Right here on Earth. But that is another blog. Just go back into the archives and read 🙂

So.

Where does that leave me? My ignorance traps me, and has for years. And I am hesitant to throw myself into the study of it all at the age of 40, for fear of being judged for not knowing already. A few years ago, I did try to take a class on religion. What I wanted was the HISTORY of religions. That was not what the class ended up being, so I dropped it, and was left at Square One. I believe it would make a world of difference in how I deal with things, respond to others, and certainly how I form friendships and nurture relationships. Oh…and parent. I wouldn’t feel like such a loser when my young daughters exhibit vast Biblical knowledge, they gained in Presbyterian school, rather than from me…their mother. There’s THAT.

I WANT to feel the presence of God in everyday life.

I WANT to feel Jesus’ arms around me, lifting me up and carrying me through when I don’t have the strength to walk on my own.

I WANT to know what I am talking about, believing in, and WHY I should. I need some irrefutable proof.

In my face.

What I am seeking…is it even possible? And how do I find it? I can’t be the first person who has asked for it. Where do I start? Point me in the right direction. All suggestions welcome.

Most of all though, I DON’T WANT to be a hypocrite, which is what I feel like when I talk about religion, or advise others to have blind faith. After all, who am I to testify to others in support of something that is clearly not working for me?

Help me, please.

I’m too old to worship the Easter Bunny, and I’m not fond of eggs.

xo,

Filed Under: holidays, just me, random thoughts, truths and quotes Tagged With: faith, just me, religion

Signs

March 13, 2012 by calibamamom 1 Comment

Well.

Here I am again. My apologies for the silence. I just needed to catch up on all the things on my plate right now, despite the glaring fact that I am not the least bit hungry or eager to digest any of them.

But thou shalt not dwell, right? (I’m thinking this might need to be a Commandment, since it is rather profound.)

Anyway, I’m back. I had every intention of posting about something else entirely, then I received a message…actually 2…and my focus shifted. The first message was from my sister, via a story she told me many years ago, but just recently put down into words; the other, was…well…from God.

For a minute here, I’m going to talk about a blessing. My sister, Shane Jackson. Her strength astounds me, and her faith is unshakeable. Throughout my life, she has been my protector. Quite honestly, if not for her return to Alabama back in 1980, after fleeing a horribly abusive marriage and bringing along her very own firstborn, just 6 weeks old, there is a good chance I might not be alive today. I was 8 years old. For now, I’ll leave the details for another post, but I can say with certainty that she saved my life then, and she hasn’t stopped since. The two of us have…let’s just say…weathered many a storm, and seen things nobody should have to. And, if the past few years are any indication, we are right in the eye of a hurricane, hunkering down, hoping and praying for it to pass. Again. But I digress. Besides being a Rock of Gibraltar in human form, she is also a gifted and talented writer of poetry, fiction, inspirational words, etc. You name it, and she can perfectly put it into words, even when one might believe there were none to describe it.

Here is the story. All true words. Enjoy.

The Story of the Redbirds

When my father died, I was devastated. He was my best friend, my protector. Everything that happened in my life he knew about. After the funeral I crawled into my mother’s lap and stared for a while. She never questioned me; never said a word, but rather held me as if I was an infant. After a month had passed, I was home with my children, cleaning dishes while talking to my mother on the phone. All of the sudden two redbirds appeared at my breakfast room window. They were pecking and making noise. I moved over to the sink and they followed me. I told Mother I would have to call her back and I ran upstairs to get the video camera. When I got to my bedroom, there they were at the upper level windows pecking, just as if they were trying to tell me something. By this time I was freaked out. I began videoing them. I ran back down to call Mother and they followed me back to the kitchen window. I was so weirded out, I was almost yelling on the phone. Mother sat there until I finished and then said, “You’ve never heard the story on the redbirds”? “No”, I said. She began to tell me how redbirds come into your life when you’ve lost someone you love. They represent them and bring good will and joy back into your heart. They are there to let you know everything will be alright and life is turning around for your heart.

Several months later, I lost my mother. We moved from Persimmon Tree road to Sugar Creek. I was done. Crushed at the loss of my mother. She was my everthing. Both my mother and my father were the world to me, as well as to everybody else. There was no bringing me back from this one. I was surviving, not living. I tried to keep a good face for my children and my husband but honestly, I didn’t want to breathe. One day I was home and cleaning, as usal. I walked out to the pool to set some chemicals down and took my seat, positioning myself to look out over the land and just meditate. There was a white fence surrounding the pool on one side. I hear this screetch and turn. There they were, Three redbirds perched on the fence together and looking dead center to my soul. Three, you ask? Yes. We lost Andy’s father first, my father just months later and after 18 more months, my mother. When we moved to Village Lane they followed…the three. They remained there for our duration on the Lane. Yet again we have relocated, and I believed they were gone for good. However, I’m here five months later and I am happy to say, some very verbal sweet precious redbirds have found me.

I now know…I’m going to be okay.

~~Shane Jackson

As I mentioned earlier, I received another message too. From God. He knows what He did, and I’ll keep it a blessed secret, and only say “I hear you loud and clear, and I know you are watching over me. Thank you.”

I now know…I’m going to be okay, too.

**For the inquiring minds, who want to know: Does it involve another bundle of joy with ten fingers and ten toes, I can say with absolute certainty…..NO!!!

Filed Under: family, random thoughts, truths and quotes Tagged With: blessings