just me

Cold turkey.

September 9, 2012 By calibamamom 4 Comments

Yeah, pretty much. I bend, but I don’t break.

“Well hello again, blogosphere….and loyal followers (if I have any left). It’s really nice to be here again. I’ve missed you terribly, and almost went bat-shit crazy several times during my absence.”

That is what happens when you are forced to quit seeing your therapist (aka..this blog) cold turkey because life just gets in the fucking way. Right along with chronic insomnia, hair falling out, and clothes becoming too big, because eating ranks even lower on the totem pole than updating your online journal. At least that’s how it happens for me. And I’m here to tell you, it’s really not an option for me from here on out, as I enjoy this gig. THAT I know for sure!

So. What’s been going on that dragged me away? Let me make a list…

1. I got a job. To be fair, I work from home, on the computer and set my own hours (which technically are from 6pm til my eyes close). Therefore, it really shouldn’t interfere with my main gigs of mommy, wife, writer (which, ironically got me the job in the first place), sister-friend, volunteer, etc….BUT I actually LOVE what I do, and I’m an over-achiever. What can I say? I suppose I get in my own way, and despite my best efforts to go without it, I do need to sleep sometimes. Whatever.

2. We…as in The Girls and I…were invited to a couple of events (also because of this blog) and those took up a little time, but were well worth the investment. The first was on August 4th… the launch party for Universal Studios Home Entertainment‘s “Twinkle Toes: The Movie” on DVD. Those of you familiar with Skechers’ line of shoes known as Twinkle Toes probably know all about this, especially if you have daughters. The event was tons of fun!! The Girls bedazzled tote bags, enjoyed coloring pages at an art station, and watched outstanding dance performances by the students of the Academy of Dance Westlake Village. Oh, and we were gifted with a Universal Studios Home Entertainment Kids Summer DVD Package that included the Blu-ray Combo Packs for An American Girl: McKenna Shoots for the Stars, Hop and Big Miracle. All great movies, btw, and The Man actually mixed the post-sound for Big Miracle, so it was very cool to get that one Anyway, thanks so much to Jacqueline Cavanagh at Click Communications for inviting us, and Nancy Walters and Michelle Slavich for making sure we had a great time. You ladies ROCK!!

Our second outing was to attend the opening night performance of Mary Poppins at the Ahmanson Theatre on August 10th. Honestly, when I got the invite from Jason Martin at Center Theatre Group, I almost died!! Seriously. Not only am I a big ole theatre geek, but to be given the opportunity to take The Girls, who have seen the movie 87,000 times, to this…of all plays…as their very first trip to the theatre was, let’s just say …. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!! And if just attending wasn’t enough, our complimentary seats were in the FRONT FREAKING ROW!! How does that happen? Are we that cool? Maybe it was because of my use of “that word” in this post. I don’t know. To say that we were wowed from the moment we arrived is a massive understatement. I’ve never seen my daughters so engaged and excited by something. At one point, they were on their feet, ‘oooohhing and aahhhing’, while witnessing Mary Poppins fly overhead from the stage to the top of the house, and it truly warmed my heart to see the sparkle in their eyes as they enjoyed the outstanding performance. A kick-ass, special ‘Mommy n Me’ outing. I can’t thank Jason, who made it possible, enough. I don’t know him, but he’s a hero in my book now Here’s a photo of us in the lobby just before the show. Can you feel the excitement???!!!

In the lobby, before the show!!!

Last but not least, the other outing I attended…without The Girls….was the 6th Annual Community Gala and Fundraiser for The Boyle Heights Technology Youth Center on August 16th. My dear sister-friend Kim Poirier invited me as her ‘plus one’, and we had a glorious time. It’s not often that I get invited to events for such fantastic causes, so I jumped at the chance to attend. There were vendors of all kinds, yummy food, and spectacular musical performances by students from the Center as well as well known celebrities. If you don’t know about this center and what it does for kids….do some research and donate to them if you can. They are doing great things with the youth in this city, who will no doubt go on to be some of the leaders of tomorrow. Here is a fun pic of Kim and I with “waxy jazz hands” after we were treated to chocolate parafin hand dips from one of the vendors. As you can see, we are total cheese balls….

“Waxy Jazz Hands”…LOVE IT!!!

And here is our post-event, red carpet photo. She got to actually walk the carpet and be snapped by the paparazzi before the event, as she is a big deal here in the world of Hollywood! I’m just lucky she thinks I’m cool enough to bring along

We were wearing the same color scheme…navy and red, but didn’t plan it…lol. Great minds think alike, right?

3. Dang…I didn’t ever think I would make it to number 3!! THE KIDS WENT BACK TO SCHOOL on August 20th. Two in elementary, and one in….gulp.…7th grade. Holy crap, I have a middle-schooler! Where did the time go? But I digress. Most mamas have MORE time once their kids go back to school, right? But the preparation that goes into getting them prepared to go back is an energy draining, time consuming, pain in the effing ass. Not to mention is expensive. The school supplies times 3 left me with a buckshot bank account and thus, a stress level that needs Xanax. Daily. But I am happy to report that everyone has done marvelously in their first few weeks back, loves their teachers, and is adjusting to homework again. Oh, and The Oldest Girl landed in Advanced English (wonder who she takes after…lol:-) and her science teacher has HOT PINK HAIR!! How great is that?

4. Now here is where it gets tricky up in here…and sad….then happy again. My niece, Meaghan, got married last weekend. You may remember me talking about her in this post. She is more like a sister than my niece, as I was only 14 when she was born, and we have spent A LOT of time together over the years. She even came to LA to live with The Man, The Girls and me for a summer while she shot a movie. Good times, I tell ya. Anyway, she asked me to be a bridesmaid back in May and I was elated! Ordered my dress right away, and was anticipated it to be smoothe sailing. God laughs when I make plans, remember? As I have mentioned several times before on this here blog, times have been, um…challenging for us, financially speaking, over the past few years. It’s been an endless roller coaster. So, as the wedding date approached, it became clear I would need to make a devastating call, and decline the honor to serve as a bridesmaid, because I couldn’t afford a plane ticket, nor the payment for my dress. That was one of the hardest calls I’ve ever had to make. I was in tears for days, depressed beyond belief, because the trip would have meant I would be able to see my whole family, whom I haven’t seen in 2 full years. Knowing how much I wanted to go, my very precious Oldest Girl put her brain into action and conspired with my sweet MIL, who surprised me with a plane ticket and the funds to pay off my dress, just 1 month before the wedding date. Obviously, I broke down in tears and finally knew what those families on Extreme Home Makeover must feel. To me, it was that special.…like winning the lottery. I will NEVER be able to thank her enough for that gift. EVER. Needless to say, it was a beautiful occasion that went off without a hitch. A traditional Southern plantation wedding, complete with shrimp and tomato grits, and sweet tea served in Mason jars with striped straws. Every detail was perfect. Oh, and the first University of Alabama Football game of the season was happening that day too, so there was a big screen tv set up at the reception, because in the South….football is a religion….and nothing gets in the way of it. Plus, both Bride and Groom are alums of UA….they even had ‘Yeah, Alabama” played instead of the standard Wedding March, as they floated back down the aisle as husband and wife. I, of course, was singing right along and yelled out a quite audible “Roll Tide” as I was the last to walk down after them, and my exit happened to coincide with the lyrics of our Fight Song…lol. The icing on the cake was that our Bama boys smeared Michigan State into the field, 41-14. Roll Tide Roll, baby!!!! And of course here are a few pictures…..

The stunning bride and her very proud aunt!

Our wedding “Mookie” faces. It’s a family thing…lol.

Might be my fave. Megz had a bug under her dress, so I had to lend some extermination skills. RFLMAO…..only me.

And finally…..THE ENTIRE WEDDING PARTY being, well…ourselves. How great is this picture????

BEST. GROUP. PHOTO. EVER.

So that’s what has been happening with me, and why I had to take a break. There’s actually more, but I’m going to save that for tomorrow’s post, because I’m sure y’all are like…”OMG. This is soooo long”. But I do promise to write again tomorrow, because I need to talk about what just happened on September 5th….that made September 6th much more bearable than it ever would have been.

Be sure and come back. I’m going to bed, as it’s 1:30 where I live, and my eyes are trying to take a nap

xo,

Filed Under: events and shindigs, family, just me, random thoughts, tributes Tagged With: blessings, events, family, happiness, just me, life, photos, shout outs, the girls, The Man

This rollercoaster belongs in a theme park.

July 3, 2012 By calibamamom Leave a Comment

Looks pretty scary, huh?

Welcome to my point of view. Just a typical day in my life, recently.

As I mentioned here, life has been pretty nuts around the ole Calibama Ranch. And here’s the thing: it’s all family drama. Okay, maybe not ALL of it. But…whatever.

My struggle is with the fact that I built this family. Literally. Everyone knows each other because I packed my life up and drove to California 16 years ago. Might as well change my name to CATALYST, because that initial decision, followed by the marital union of The Man and me 3.5 years later, charted the life courses of no less than 8 people. Seriously. I’m not kidding, nor exaggerating. I’d list all the connections and such, but they aren’t my stories to tell and at the rate I’m going, I certainly can’t risk the shit getting any deeper up in here. Suffice to say, with the exception of one, who made the move here shortly after I did, and served a stint as my roommate for a bit in the early years…my closest girlfriends from college, are now family…for reals. Sister brought it full-circle, by leaving blood relation–complete with their own full-scale dramatic productions– behind in ‘Bama and creating my very own ‘friendamily’ here on the West Coast. It took me sixteen years…actually only thirteen to be exact…to do it, but masterpieces take time, right?

So.

Does that mean I’m responsible for this chaos? Please. Don’t. Answer. That.

At any rate, guilty or not, I have no regrets. None. Life has its highs and lows, peaks and valleys. Sometimes all in the same effing week. Even if the genie from Aladdin–complete with Robin Williams’ voice, a shiny gold lamp and a groovy magic carpet–suddenly appeared, offering me the opportunity to go back 13 years and do things differently, I wouldn’t. Every single introduction, experience, and life-altering event would remain intact, in its original, organic state. Honestly. Having all these people assembled together in my world interacting in such an amazing, tumultuous, meaningful way is a blessing, truly worth its weight in gold. Why, you ask?

Because I was given this life, and I appreciate every ounce of it.

Filed Under: family, just me, random thoughts Tagged With: blessings, family, just me, life, random thoughts

Damn. I just tripped over a memory.

April 27, 2012 By calibamamom Leave a Comment

**I wrote the following essay 2-1/2 years ago, as a note on FB. Just stumbled upon it and thought it was blog worthy. The video above is from my work with Mimoda Jazzo Gruppa, although I have…sadly… since left the company

As some of you may or may not know, I have been a dancer my entire life. Started when I was small….about 5 years old, I think….and just kept running with it. Straight on through a degree majoring in the art of it at the University of Alabama. Whew! You might think getting your Bachelor’s degree in dance was a picnic. I assure you, it was not. Worked my ass off. Lost both my parents while still in college, and graduated with a big fat, “WTF, am I gonna do now?” sign handed to me right along with my diploma. OH….I CAN TEACH….right. I’ll be honest. I hate teaching, and truly admire people who can do it, because I didn’t get that gene. A flaw, I know, but I get too effing frustrated trying to teach people how to do something that comes so naturally for me. Makes me madder than a wet hen when I run into a student who can’t do it, or worse, a dancer who can’t follow choreography. So what if I like to use “creative visualization” as tool for teaching dance steps? Get over it, and follow my instructions.

So I simply avoid the task. Problem solved.

Of course, I had grand dreams of dancing professionally, in a company….in New York. Didn’t know a soul there, and didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together to create enough friction to get there. Much less, money to live on until I could find a job to support my dancing habit. Without a support network to speak of, I was terrified to go. End of story? Not quite. A ray of hope shined through, and a friend who lived in Los Angeles, offered me a place to stay until I could get on my feet. So I decided that was God’s way of telling me that California would be my new home. After all, nothing left for me in Alabama, really.

My biggest fans had passed, landing front row seats in Heaven. Time for a new audience.

That was in June of 1996.

Cut to present day…I still reside in my “Land of Opportunity” aka Los Angeles. I’ve lived all over the city, from the beach to the Valley and several places in between. Met The Man a year into my residence here, played hard to get for 18 months, and then married him in 1999.

So what have I been “doing” for the past 10 years, you ask? Have I been dancing professionally? Um….no. Life took me in a different direction, and that aspiration got put on hold….for 3 excellent reasons. Their names are Sugar Bean, Butter Bean and Sweet Pea. But now, they are all in school, and I have a little time for myself each week. And life has once again begun to work in strange, yet exquisite ways. Which brings me to this…..

At 37 years old, after giving birth to 3 babies and being largely absent from dance class for 10 years, I decided to audition for a new dance company, and I was accepted. My goal of being in a professional company…checked off the bucket list. YAY!! I posted about this a week ago, and was elated over it for 48 hours. Then I made the very difficult decision to turn down the invitation to join. For reasons I won’t get into here. Suffice to say, I settled into the reality that simply being asked was good enough for me. Although, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about calling the artistic director, claiming a momentary lapse of reason, and groveling until he let me join.

But…..remember…..my life works in strange ways.

The phone rang yesterday, and it was his assistant calling. To invite me to rehearsal. Guess they are still hashing out the details of who’s in, and who’s out…..and I got a reprieve. A second chance without asking. I was speechless, and it’s hard to render me speechless. Lol.

Anyway, I am chalking it up to divine intervention. God is trying to tell me something. He opened a window because I needed a way out, after someone else shut the doors. I closed the window because of a draft. Thought it was locked, but now He has thrown me the key.

I’m not stupid. I have my first rehearsal from 5pm to 9pm tonight.

Oh, and here’s something my sister wrote about me, I think is pretty relevant to this story. Enjoy

TINY DANCER by Shane Jackson

She captured the hearts of many; a hard life up ahead.

Found her heart was broken, her parents both were dead.

She dug deep into her soul, the strength she found within,

With high hopes and her tears, her journey did begin.

I stood there pleading loudly, “Please sweetheart stay with me.”

But I knew deep inside that, I was not what she needs.

So on my knees I prayed hard, “Dear God, please wrap her soul.

Protect my precious sister, on the road she chose so cold.”

Today the years have flown past, on each we’ve leaned quite hard.

Though loss of memory plagues us, our pain seems now afar.

She told me of a story, that brought her heart so near.

Each time she entered God’s House, out of nowhere tears appeared.

This tiny dancer sparks up and beams a sun filled glow,

To anybody she sees, and everywhere she goes.

To her family, and 3 children now, she plays the role of life.

God’s work upon this dancer, leaves you knowing God’s great might.

If ever you seem troubled, or feel your load to much to bear,

Remember the Tiny Dancer, who faced life’s utmost dare.

He’ll never leave you lonely; He’ll never stray away.

If you continue praying,

You’ll dance like her one day.

Filed Under: just me, motherhood, random thoughts Tagged With: blessings, dancing, dreams, just me, life, random thoughts

“You got 10 Minutes?”

April 20, 2012 By calibamamom 17 Comments

There should be a picture of a MAN.

Okay, I learned a valuable lesson yesterday:

Don’t read posts from other blogs to The Man, as he will inevitably ask a question related to the post, leading to a discussion I really don’t want to be a part of. How did I not anticipate that? Dammit.

That being said, his question inspired this post, so I suppose I should mumble ‘thank you’ under my breath at some point later this evening. Of course, that will depend on how many views it gets…lol. Yeah, I’m a bitch like that

Anyway, after reading this to him, from Chopping Potatoes, The Man asked:

“Why do women always put the desire of sex on their mates, by saying ‘he might get lucky’? How come I’ve never heard a woman say, ‘It would make my day if I GET LUCKY later’? Do women view sex as an obligatory chore?”

wow. Wow. WOW.

I sat speechless, which ~~almost~~ never happens. Searching for, not just words, but the right words. Blurting out what I was thinking was simply unacceptable, but I had to say something, right? So I stammered and managed to evade a direct answer by saying I needed to consult other women before opening Pandora‘s Box. He suggested I blog about it, and here I am. Something tells me after reading this, he will not make that mistake again

My theory is that, sex drives and desires are unique to each individual woman. You’re probably thinking, “Damn. This woman is a genius!” Yeah, right. This being said, I believe once you become a mother, a completely different light is cast upon sex, and it occupies a less emergent spot on the “to do list”. When a woman is single and dating, or committed–yet not tethered to small humans demanding her undivided attention–sex is a little more, dare I say?…exciting. Something you WANT TO DO. It can be spontaneous, and happen almost anywhere, anytime. If the mood hits, BAM…you can be in the moment. However, when you are constantly aware of the bazillion things you must do to maintain order among your tribe, it somehow morphs into…well…a chore. One more thing you have to schedule into your already-bursting-at-the-seams calendar. Something reserved for date nights, the occasional kids are sleeping at a friends’ or their grandparents’ house….OR the miraculous, by the grace of God, once every few years, “grown up weekend away together”. Oh what I would give for one of those! And even then, I suspect, I might just want to sleep. LOL.

There is another aspect to all of this though. Scientific evidence exists to support the fact that men think about sex more often than women, they seek it out more frequently, and are more straightforward in the approach and expectations. An excellent article highlighting these statements can be found here at WebMD. Honestly, my own husband could be the poster child for the article. There is a running joke in our house associated with the normally benign statement “Hey, you got 10 minutes?” as it is code for “I want to bang you like a drum–right now“. The problem is, The Man asks whenever I am busy with things like getting ready for a meeting, catching up on laundry, doing dishes, taking care of the family pets, paying bills, gathering internet research or performing just about any other responsibility that must be completed in the precious hours of the day when all three of The Girls are at school, and before they need to be shuttled here and there for after school activities.

Oooohhhhh…..Did I forget to mention The Man has been on hiatus from his job, intermittently, for the better portion of the last 7 months? And he doesn’t have any hobbies. NONE. Are you understanding why this is a problem for me? Yes. I thought so.

On the flip side, I AM thankful that, after 13 years of marriage and 3 delightful children…he still honestly believes I am the hottest thing on two legs, and is genuinely attracted to me. How do I know this? Because he tells me. Every. Single. Day. So, it’s not just an attempt to satisfy his biological need to “release” in order to avoid the apparent pain of blue balls. My apologies for the ‘frat boy’ reference. I just couldn’t think of a better way to say it.

I do realize I suck for not “hoping to get lucky” more often and for never being vocal about it when I desire to. Dear Husband, I owe you an apology for that. From now on, I will be diligent in my effort to let you know how very much ~~I want to screw your brains out~~ love and desire you, and show you how blessed I feel that you are my smoking hot hubby. Oh, and I vow to ask “You got 10 minutes?” every single time I witness you doing dishes, vacuuming floors, making dinner, or watching a big game on ESPN.

Promise.

Actually, I think I got a fandamntastic start on this with the “Trophy Husband” tee-shirt I bought you today, huh?

Night, y’all