They asked. So I answered.

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All my new kindred bloggy souls asked, so I allowed my ‘loose at both ends and tied in the middle” tongue to take the wheel for this post. Might be a train wreck. Hard to watch, but impossible to look away from :-) Anyway, here are the results. So grab a cocktail, and get comfy. This train has many cars…..

1) What’s your worst drunken episode of adult life? If I could remember, I probably wasn’t that drunk now was I?

2) What’s something you’re obsessed with? Going to DMB concerts. I’ve been to an obscene number of shows, and don’t plan on stopping. Until I die, or he stops playing.

3) What hidden/odd talent do you have? I can say my ABC’s backwards faster than most people can say theirs forwards. I also have an uncanny ability for finding 4-leafed clovers. True story. I have 100′s of them.

4) Do you have any irrational fears and what are they? Yes. I am horrified of water that I can’t see through. This includes oceans, lakes, etc. The fear of what is down there is a complete pain in the ass, because I would love to learn how to surf and to sail.

5) Why do you blog? I use it as therapy. I’ve always kept a journal, but I think my writing is entertaining sometimes, and I’m a sharer :-)

6) If you could have a super power (x-ray vision, invisibility, etc) what would it be and why? It’s a toss-up between Teleportation and Invisibility. Because I like to travel, but I also enjoy walking around naked.

7) Biggest pet peeve? THE SOUND OF LIQUID BEING SLURPED.

8) Which TV/movie character best resembles your personality? a combination of Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) in “Almost Famous”, Melanie Carmichael (Reese Witherspoon) in Sweet Home Alabama, and Leanne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) inThe Blind Side“.

9) What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Pumping gas at my daddy’s filling station when I was in junior high school.

10) If your readers met you in person, what would surprise them most about you? How tiny I am. I’m only 5’1″. But my personality is really tall…lol.

11) What is your most embarrassing parenting fail? My Oldest figured out how to unbuckle her car seat when she was 2, and would randomly unstrap herself while we were driving. So I took her to get a different one that had been rated as the hardest one to get out of. In the parking lot of Babies R Us, I installed the new seat, not noticing my keys had dropped out of my pocket onto the seat of the car. Apparently, I put my knee on the remote and locked the car, without realizing it. Once she was strapped in, I closed the door and went to get in the driver’s door only to find it locked. Of course she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t know how to unbuckle herself. THANK GOD I had my cellphone in my pocket, because I had to call AAA to come and open the door. It started raining while I was standing outside the car, so by the time the guy arrived, I was soaking wet, panicked and crying…..all the while my Sugar Bean was waving at me, giggling and giving me a thumbs up for her new seat. Brilliant.

12) What’s the worst date you’ve ever had? There was a guy in high school who kept asking me out, and I finally agreed. He picked me up and took me to a pizza place where they screwed up our order, he realized he forgot his wallet, and then we got in the car to leave and it wouldn’t start. He had to call his mom to come and get us. Worst. Date. Ever. 

13) How I lost my virginity? To the high school sweetheart, but not exactly in a scenario I envisioned. It DID NOT involve the backseat of a car, I assure you of that, but inexperience does make for good comedy, and excellent blog fodder, right? (Oh, and it was not the guy mentioned in #12. He never even got a second date) 

14) What is your weirdest phobia?  Poisonous sea snakes.

15) Is there someone you wish you could apologize to? Yes, as a matter of fact there is.

16) What’s your guilty pleasure? Watching “Married to Jonas”.

17) If you could commit a crime, and absolutely get away with it, what would you commit and why? Rigging the lottery. Do I really need to answer the ‘why’?

18) What historical figure would you most like to spend the day getting pedicures, day-drinking and talking about boys with? Marilyn Monroe

19) Is there anyone you are secretly jealous of? Yes, but it comes and goes.

20) Do you and your mate have a “Hall Pass” list? Yes, we do.

21) If you could be a contestant on a game show, which one would it be? I have been on Pyramid, That’s The Question and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? I would like to be on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Amazing Race, or Survivor. 

22) Have you ever been caught ‘doing the deed’? If so, by whom? Almost…by one of my daughters.

23) What’s one accomplishment in life you are the most proud of? Besides becoming a mother, helping organize this.

24) Have you ever met a celebrity? I live in Los Angeles, and The Man works in the Industry. So, yes. Many of them. But they are all people like you and me with bigger paychecks and a job they love :-)

25) Which skeeves you out the most: vomit, poop, snot or pubic hair? None of the above. Not squeamish at all.

26) What’s the grossest thing you’ve found in your food? not a strand of hair….but a WAD of it. 

27) Most embarrassing thing you’ve done while meeting someone famous. Spilled a tray of champagne on them.

28) What do you want on your tombstone? (The actual stone, not the pizza) She was a force of nature with an old soul, who loved with her whole heart.

Okay, y’all know enough. Go do something productive with the information, will ya?

Just found this on FB. So very simple, and honest. 

It’s just this simple, really.

 

Because I’m 40 now.

A good friend sent me this on my very recent 40th birthday. I love it so much. I happen to believe it SCREAMS truth. Well, maybe with the exception of the red lipstick remark. So I had to share. I also must add, this friend is a male, which, when you read it, makes it so much more meaningful. Just sayin’.

Oh, and it was written by Andy Rooney :-)

Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.
A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
Well said, Mr.Rooney, WELL SAID. 

 

BGC. Always there when I need them.

(commit this to memory)

Dear Irreplaceable Girl,

You are in just the right place in your life right now, doing just what needs to be done at this time. You are learning just what you need to be learning at this time. There’s a plan for your life and even if you are in the middle of where you were and where you are headed…everything is going to be okay. YOU CAN DO DIFFUCULT THINGS. You are surrounded by the right people at this time,even if you feel rather alone. Things are working out exactly as they are meant to work out, though you may not see what is happening behind the scenes. You are becoming exactly who you are meant to become, even if you feel like you are not really becoming anyone or anything at all right now. Please, sweet beautiful friend… During this magical time, simply let yourself be. Let go of expectation. Let go of your attachment to specific outcome. NOTICE LITTLE MIRACLES. Understand that you belong here. There is a place for you. You belong. You are loved. Everything is going to work out beautifully. You are cherished, thought out, thought of, and watched out for. You have not been forgotten…not now, not ever. Everything is going to be okay. Please rest in that truth. You matter, so very, very much.

www.bravegirlsclub.com

Over the hill…

Folks, I realized today that I might be getting old. How, you ask? You mean besides the fact I will soon be celebrating the second anniversary of my 20th birthday in January? Well, I’ll tell you. I made a Christmas list…and these are the items on it: A NEW CAN OPENER (my electric one broke a year ago, & I’ve been using the one from our camping supplies bag ever since); A CAR CHARGER FOR MY iPhone (the one I currently have shorts out on occasion, & I’m afraid it’s going to result in electrocution); A GIFTCARD TO TARGET (I really need underwear, and before you ask why I didn’t say Victoria’s Secret, refer to the title of the post here); NEW PAJAMA PANTS (all of mine are ripped in places that expose things that shouldn’t be exposed) and lastly, A PAIR OF EAR PLUGS (because my tolerance for the sound of constant BS from others has been depleted). If anyone feels compelled to fulfill any of the gift requests, I swear to send a heartfelt, note of appreciation in return, straight to your door via the US mail. Promise :-) May your holiday be merry and beautiful!!!!

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