Wisdom from a cookie

I really love fortune cookies.

I really love fortune cookies.

The Beans and I have begun a tradition…of sorts. On Friday nights, we go and have sushi (bank account willing, of course) at our favorite spot. Often, it’s just us girls, as The Man is usually working…to pay the bill…lol 🙂 No matter what everybody orders, the meal always ends with the same thing: FORTUNE COOKIES. Truth be told, it’s my favorite part, but I rarely give the little slips of paper much thought after reading them. Unless we happen to be blessed with pearls of knowledge that look like the ones above.

These were our fortunes one of the last time we went to Zen, a favorite spot. Gotta love a restaurant with that name, right? I was so impressed by the treasure trove of wisdom, I snapped a picture. And now I’m writing about what each statement means in reference to the one who pulled it from its crescent-shaped cookie.


It’s important to you that money not be important. 

This was mine, and it couldn’t be more true. Personally, I would prefer returning to the days of bartering for goods and services. Money fuels too much of our lives, and I can’t stand being dependent upon it. If there’s not enough, people are unhappy. If there’s too much, people are unhappy. Where is the balance? There isn’t one, as far as I can see. Money can’t buy happiness. Sure, it can serve as a band-aid for a much deeper seeded issue. But at the end of the day, the wound is still there, festering underneath.  Honestly, I believe my family is better off without an abundance of the nation’s currency. That being said, if I won the lottery…I’d cash the check. And go eat sushi.

It’s time you asked that special someone out on a date.

Sugar Bean pulled this one. Still scratching my head over what it’s meaning could be. Seriously…she’s fourteen. She can’t date. Hell, I don’t even allow her to wear makeup to school. Apparently, this one needs some time to reach its full potential. Three years sounds about right, don’t ya think?

If you have knowledge, let others light their candles by it.

Since this one belonged to Butter Bean, I can only assume it’s a reference to the fact that she’s our family’s math whiz. On several occasions during the last school year, she actually helped Sugar Bean with her math homework. She was in third grade, and SB was in seventh. Therefore, Butter Bean kept SB’s candle lit by sharing her mathematical genius! Thus, saving SB’s butt from being grounded under less than favorable math grades. Go figure.

It’s not the plan that is important, it’s the planning.

Ahh….Sweet Pea….my planner. Always coming up with elaborate schemes and agendas from the depths of her imagination. She makes calendars, books, drawings, etc….all depicting grand plans for us and her friends. And it keeps her occupied for hours. Which gives mama time to clean house, workwrite or play on Facebook. Yes, it’s all in the planning 🙂

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They asked. So I answered.



All my new kindred bloggy souls asked, so I allowed my ‘loose at both ends and tied in the middle” tongue to take the wheel for this post. Might be a train wreck. Hard to watch, but impossible to look away from 🙂 Anyway, here are the results. So grab a cocktail, and get comfy. This train has many cars…..

1) What’s your worst drunken episode of adult life? If I could remember, I probably wasn’t that drunk now was I?

2) What’s something you’re obsessed with? Going to DMB concerts. I’ve been to an obscene number of shows, and don’t plan on stopping. Until I die, or he stops playing.

3) What hidden/odd talent do you have? I can say my ABC’s backwards faster than most people can say theirs forwards. I also have an uncanny ability for finding 4-leafed clovers. True story. I have 100’s of them.

4) Do you have any irrational fears and what are they? Yes. I am horrified of water that I can’t see through. This includes oceans, lakes, etc. The fear of what is down there is a complete pain in the ass, because I would love to learn how to surf and to sail.

5) Why do you blog? I use it as therapy. I’ve always kept a journal, but I think my writing is entertaining sometimes, and I’m a sharer 🙂

6) If you could have a super power (x-ray vision, invisibility, etc) what would it be and why? It’s a toss-up between Teleportation and Invisibility. Because I like to travel, but I also enjoy walking around naked.


8) Which TV/movie character best resembles your personality? a combination of Penny Lane (Kate Hudson) in “Almost Famous”, Melanie Carmichael (Reese Witherspoon) in Sweet Home Alabama, and Leanne Tuohy (Sandra Bullock) inThe Blind Side“.

9) What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? Pumping gas at my daddy’s filling station when I was in junior high school.

10) If your readers met you in person, what would surprise them most about you? How tiny I am. I’m only 5’1″. But my personality is really tall…lol.

11) What is your most embarrassing parenting fail? My Oldest figured out how to unbuckle her car seat when she was 2, and would randomly unstrap herself while we were driving. So I took her to get a different one that had been rated as the hardest one to get out of. In the parking lot of Babies R Us, I installed the new seat, not noticing my keys had dropped out of my pocket onto the seat of the car. Apparently, I put my knee on the remote and locked the car, without realizing it. Once she was strapped in, I closed the door and went to get in the driver’s door only to find it locked. Of course she couldn’t open it, because she didn’t know how to unbuckle herself. THANK GOD I had my cellphone in my pocket, because I had to call AAA to come and open the door. It started raining while I was standing outside the car, so by the time the guy arrived, I was soaking wet, panicked and crying…..all the while my Sugar Bean was waving at me, giggling and giving me a thumbs up for her new seat. Brilliant.

12) What’s the worst date you’ve ever had? There was a guy in high school who kept asking me out, and I finally agreed. He picked me up and took me to a pizza place where they screwed up our order, he realized he forgot his wallet, and then we got in the car to leave and it wouldn’t start. He had to call his mom to come and get us. Worst. Date. Ever. 

13) How I lost my virginity? To the high school sweetheart, but not exactly in a scenario I envisioned. It DID NOT involve the backseat of a car, I assure you of that, but inexperience does make for good comedy, and excellent blog fodder, right? (Oh, and it was not the guy mentioned in #12. He never even got a second date) 

14) What is your weirdest phobia?  Poisonous sea snakes.

15) Is there someone you wish you could apologize to? Yes, as a matter of fact there is.

16) What’s your guilty pleasure? Watching “Married to Jonas”.

17) If you could commit a crime, and absolutely get away with it, what would you commit and why? Rigging the lottery. Do I really need to answer the ‘why’?

18) What historical figure would you most like to spend the day getting pedicures, day-drinking and talking about boys with? Marilyn Monroe

19) Is there anyone you are secretly jealous of? Yes, but it comes and goes.

20) Do you and your mate have a “Hall Pass” list? Yes, we do.

21) If you could be a contestant on a game show, which one would it be? I have been on Pyramid, That’s The Question and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? I would like to be on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, The Amazing Race, or Survivor. 

22) Have you ever been caught ‘doing the deed’? If so, by whom? Almost…by one of my daughters.

23) What’s one accomplishment in life you are the most proud of? Besides becoming a mother, helping organize this.

24) Have you ever met a celebrity? I live in Los Angeles, and The Man works in the Industry. So, yes. Many of them. But they are all people like you and me with bigger paychecks and a job they love 🙂

25) Which skeeves you out the most: vomit, poop, snot or pubic hair? None of the above. Not squeamish at all.

26) What’s the grossest thing you’ve found in your food? not a strand of hair….but a WAD of it. 

27) Most embarrassing thing you’ve done while meeting someone famous. Spilled a tray of champagne on them.

28) What do you want on your tombstone? (The actual stone, not the pizza) She was a force of nature with an old soul, who loved with her whole heart.

Okay, y’all know enough. Go do something productive with the information, will ya?


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Just found this on FB. So very simple, and honest. 

It’s just this simple, really.


Because I’m 40 now.

A good friend sent me this on my very recent 40th birthday. I love it so much. I happen to believe it SCREAMS truth. Well, maybe with the exception of the red lipstick remark. So I had to share. I also must add, this friend is a male, which, when you read it, makes it so much more meaningful. Just sayin’.

Oh, and it was written by Andy Rooney 🙂

Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know.
A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
Well said, Mr.Rooney, WELL SAID. 


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