Life summary

Received an email from one of my sisters…I have 3….this morning. It made me smile all over my face, so I thought I’d share. Enjoy!

Great Truths Little Children Learn:

1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.

2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

3. If your sibling hits you, don’t hit back. The second offender always gets caught.

4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.

6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7. Never hold a Dust Buster and a cat at the same time.

8. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear with white shorts.

10. The best place to be when you are sad is Grandma’s lap.

Great Truths Adults Learn:

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.

3. Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

5. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.

6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Great Truths About Growing Old:

1. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is not.

2. Forget health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

4. You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5. It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

The Four Stages of Life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus.

2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus.

3. You are Santa Claus.

4. You look like Santa Claus.

Success:

At age 4, success is not piddling in your pants.

At age 12, success is having friends.

At age 17, success is having a driver’s license.

At age 35, success is having money.

At age 50, success is having money.

At age 70, success is having a driver’s license.

At age 75, success is having friends.

At age 80, success is not piddling in your pants.

Give it to me straight. I can take it :-)

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