Easter…not just about eggs.

March 31, 2013 by 8 Comments

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Truth be told, I loathe decorating eggs. Just not a fan of boiled eggs, unless they are destined for devilry–complete with pickles and paprika. And I don’t like those stupid plastic ones either. Mostly because I find them all over my house for months to come, filled with rancid jelly beans and crusty chocolate footballs. You probably call them eggs, but face it…they look more like footballs, don’t they? I am rather fond of the mythical, cotton-tailed, candy bearing critter who leaves baskets full of sugar for The Beans to rip into before church services on Easter Sunday. Okay, really….I just enjoy wearing my crafty hat while embellishing the baskets to the point of embarrassment.  What can I say? I’m a creative soul who is really good with her hands.

Seriously though, Thank GOD…literally…Easter is not just about eggs or candy.

Now, to be fair, we as a family, have only been attending church on a very regular basis for about 3 months. The Man was raised in the Catholic church, but never really adhered to it, as far as I can tell, and I being Protestant, don’t quite understand a lot about Catholicism. So, when Sugar Bean was small, we decided to attend church as a family, and settled on an amazing Episcopalian church. Catholic enough for him, Protestant enough for me. We both got it. However, we moved far from that church in Beverly Hills, and enrolled our kids in Presbyterian school, because it was the best one around, and public was not an option at the time. Soon after, we began attending the church affiliated with the school, and really liked it for several years. Then, another move forced us to find another place to worship, where after just a short time we feel like part of  the church family. You know, like regulars at “Cheers”—where everybody knows our name…lol. It’s obviously meant to be our church home. And now, at 41, I am grasping the importance of deep faith along with an understanding of The Bible. Although I grew up in a Christian family, who attended church regularly when my brothers and sisters were small, by the time I came along….I assume my parents were just plain tired. Which meant we went on holidays mostly, and I don’t ever remember attending Sunday School as a child. And my knowledge of the Bible? Skeletal at best. But I am making an effort to educate myself so I’m prepared for the questions The Beans will inevitably have when they reach that point wanting to know “If God made us, who made God?”  Which, of course, I won’t know the answer to, but I want to at least try and communicate effectively.

My most vivid childhood memories of Easter involve the exquisite dress my mother would make for me to wear each year. Of course, I have carried on the tradition in my own girls, complete with gigantic satin bows in their hair to match. In fact, they have each worn some of THE very dresses I wore, as I cherish them dearly and have taken good care of them. But I am also doing my very best to make them understand that it’s not about big baskets of goodies, or eggs, or fancy dresses. And I was reminded of my efforts quite exquisitely, when I picked Butter Bean and Sweet Pea up after school on Good Friday.

Butter Bean said, “I’m sooo excited for Easter!” “Me too,” squealed Sweet Pea. Expecting the answer from both girls to be “Because the Easter Bunny comes,” I asked why, and beamed when Sweet Pea said she was excited for church, and then elaborated on why. “There are good friends there, and we learn about Jesus. I love Jesus.” In true Butter Bean style, she still hailed the Easter Bunny, but I know she understands. She just LOVES chocolate.

As a family, we are going through a bit of a difficult time. We need our Faith now more than ever, to lean on, and turn to, as guidance towards light overshadowed by darkness….albeit temporary. The Man is making huge strides at developing a Faith similar to mine, and we are discussing attending classes at LCPC in order for us to learn and solidify our knowledge together. Now, that’s not to say we will agree with everything we’re taught. I  mean, I am, after all….a liberal Christian. WHAT?!!! Yes, I said it. I firmly believe that Jesus LOVES EVERYONE, and to quote my favorite blogger/author, Glennon Melton, ” Jesus is forever tries.” He never gives up on us, and we shouldn’t give up on ourselves. I just pray he’s prepared for the Minklers…because I’m pretty sure I’ll be blowing up his shiny white, straight line to Heaven phone more than once over the next few years. Probably forever. He died for us. I really owe him A LOT of attention.

 

Anyway, here are The Beans, with some precious friends after church this morning.

Easter Angels in their Sunday Best

Easter Angels in their Sunday Best

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Their Safe Place.

December 18, 2012 by 11 Comments

 

Of course I envisioned my first post following our family move as a long, profanity laden rant describing all the crap that went wrong during the relocation and what complete hell I’ve been through over the last few weeks. Then, this past Friday morning, on December 14, 2012, as I was just waking The Beans, urging them to roll out of bed and get ready for school, tragedy struck at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut.

And the lives of 20 mamas exactly like me…..who had, just a few hours earlier, done precisely what I was doing at that moment…became an unimaginable Hell.

All of a sudden, my reality paled in comparison, and turned into an idyllic picnic in the park stacked up against what they were experiencing. A cowardly monster armed himself with several guns and walked into the one place we as parents trust, without question, to be safest for our children when they cannot be in our arms. Then he opened fire in 2 classrooms full of 6 and 7 year-olds. In a flash, those mamas lost their innocent, precious angels as Heaven gained them. Thinking about it takes my breath and replaces it with tears all over again. You see, my Sweet Pea is a bright-eyed, 6 year-old First Grader this year. If not for geography, it could have been her classroom. Two years ago, it could have been my Butter Bean, and although it’s been 6 years since Sugar Bean started her school journey, I still shudder at the thought of how little she was, and how naive I was, as a young mother, to the evils threatening this world.  Excuse me while my mind races, and I throw up, rethinking every decision I’ve ever made as a parent.

As a Christian, I have been told that God has a plan, and I shouldn’t question it. However, as a mother, I am screaming to the top of my lungs “WHY, GOD, WHY??!!” No matter the answer, it will not satisfy the question. There is no acceptable response, no silver lining, no lesson that needed to be taught by such a horrific example.

Or is there?

Honestly, until Friday, I firmly believed in the Second Amendment of Our Constitution, which states that we as citizens have the right to keep and bear arms, and therefore was on the fence with regards to gun control. Well, I’m here to say, I am no longer a fence-rider. The first time a school/mall/theatre shooting happened was one too many. Something must be done to make it impossible for this to ever happen again. Period.

Ironically, this amendment was adopted on December 15, 1791, which means this deadly attack on the students and faculty of Sandy Hook Elementary School took place just one day shy of the 221st birthday of the Amendment. A glaring coincidence? Probably not, if you are looking for some rhyme or reason to the incident. What more could this be, than a loud wake-up call for America to take a long, harsh look at our gun control laws….or better yet, the apparent lack of them. It’s obvious the weapon wielding asshole whose name I refuse to write reveled in his Second Amendment rights. His mother staunchly believed in hers too, for that matter. Although she was his first victim of the day, I can’t ignore that the four guns he carried with him to execute the massacre were purchased by, and registered to her. Or that, reportedly, she took her son to the shooting range at least once in his lifetime. This begs the question:

WHAT PRIVATE CITIZEN NEEDS FOUR WEAPONS TO PROTECT THEM? 

The answer, is none. That’s why we have policemen. To serve and protect us. Yes, I am aware of a thing called ‘response time’. Fine. If you must own a gun in order to feel like an American, then you can have ONE…a double-barrel shotgun. It’s intimidating enough to defend your property and family without allowing the power of semi-automatic and automatic weapons representative of a military presence into the hands of individuals who likely shouldn’t have it. Plus, you can hunt with it, so you won’t starve if it comes to that. There must be rules though. Let’s start by only allowing you to purchase one after an extensive background check and psychological evaluation, accompanied by mandatory classes on gun safety and proper handling/storage of weapons. Oh, and you may only buy enough ammunition as is reasonable. No need for a stockpile. The police will be on their way to protect you from harm before you could aim, shoot, fire and reload more than once. I believe this is more than fair. You can own your gun, thereby preserving your Constitutional right to bear arms, while I feel confident knowing it’s okay to send my babies to their safe place day after day and know they will return home, as alive, full of energy and excited as they were when I dropped them off that morning. Deal?

Because let’s face it…there is nothing more precious than the life of a child, and no Constitutional right worth the loss of it. 

If you are beyond livid about gun control or mental health care, please contact your state or local representatives and elected officials, who may have the influence to make a difference and prevent further tragedies from happening.

 

 

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It is what it is…isn’t.

April 16, 2012 by 5 Comments

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So. Don’t be afraid, k?

I am happy to report, I no longer have writer’s block 🙂

My brain had a nice little rest over the weekend, and began grinding its gears, churning out a plethora of topics for me to babble about, for your reading enjoyment. Yes, of course I took notes. Otherwise, I would likely still be stuck.

Can I get a ‘woot woot’ up in here, please? 

The brainstorm was kicked off after discovering the church program from Easter service in the glove compartment of my mommy mobile. The sermon was fantastic. In fact, it was as if Pastor Jim read my ‘Easter Week’ post and decided he should address me specifically. My logical mind says that’s not what happened, because he doesn’t know I have a blog, but my ‘put-it-out-there-into-the-universe-and-see-what-you-get’ mind is certain that’s how it went down. That part of my brain is a bit self-centered. Please forgive her. Regardless, I made the request for proof, reassurance, guidance, etc…and BAM…there it was. On Easter Sunday. So I took notes on the program with the intention of doing a post about it. Therefore, I am giving inspirational credit where credit is due: Thank you, Pastor Jim. Thank you 🙂

At its bare bones, the sermon was about The Resurrection and the explanation of why we, as Christians, celebrate Easter. However, it was filled with so many reasons why we should believe that “It is what it is”–a statement we often make as humans with respect to our lives, our jobs, the government, the economy–ISN’T.  As a student of English grammar, I cringe at the written contradiction. As a student of life, and a new seeker of proof that God exists in my everyday life, I do a happy dance when I see it. Because it makes sense.

To me.

As it was told to me by Pastor Jim, there are “Five Isn’t (s) of Easter”. Here they are:

1. Death is it.   Well, no it isn’t. That is, if you believe Jesus rose 3 days after being crucified and put in the tomb. I happen to believe He blew this one out of the water. Which, of course, means there IS life after death and I can go to my Heaven and dance endlessly to Dave Matthews. For eternity. Amen.

2. Hope is a fallacy.  Um, no. The Resurrection is proof of hope. Believing this statement is easy breezy lemon squeezy for me. Being more of an optimist, rather than a pessimist, realist or opportunist, I’ve never had an issue with hope. Finding it is never a problem for me, and I am so determined that I never give it up. Never. When I can’t find a shiny side to life, I just throw in some elbow grease and polish the dull one. Moving on.

3. We are stuck with paying the price for our sins.  This one trips me up a bit, I must admit. Especially when I think about all the “what if’s” in my past, or the decisions I’ve made that clearly had consequences, not all of them good. This being said, I believe this statement doesn’t apply to tangible things. It applies to behaviors. After all, The Seven Deadly Sins are behaviors: wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. When I think of it that way, I can wrap my mind around the concept and feel safe in the blanket of forgiveness. On the other hand, if this isn’t the proper interpretation of the “isn’t”, then I am, in effect….ESS OH ELL.

4. Just surviving is the rule of the day. This is a biggie for me, because in the last few years, it HAS been the rule of my life, and the focus of my family. It was also the rule of my childhood. Come to think of it, it’s pretty much been the story of my life. Of course, there have been a few times I felt I was thriving rather than surviving, but I could probably count them one hand. Pathetic, I know. My desire is to change my approach to life from now on. To focus more energy on thriving spiritually, which will no doubt, help me thrive in other areas as well. Often, I spend so much time anticipating the arrival of the next moment, I miss living in the one I am in. No more. After all, God gave his only son, and Jesus gave his own life so that I could live. It’s my duty to live it to the fullest. Period.

5. We are alone in this life.  If your beliefs are rooted in Christianity, then it is understood “there is no time when Jesus is not present” in your life. Although I have faith in the validity of the statement, I admit I don’t always feel His presence. This is a problem for me, as it invokes all sorts of guilt on my part, and makes me question whether or not I am a ‘good Christian’. Am I a good person? Yes. Good Christian? Um…what does that mean anyway? Mama always said to everything will be okay if  you are “living right”. I believe I am. In addition, I am told that Jesus’ job is to come to me and make himself known. This being said, every time I go into the sanctuary of our chosen place of worship, I start to cry. Not just on Sundays, or while the service is going on. EVERY TIME. That’s enough for me. I’ll just accept that when I’m not ‘feeling the love’, He is busy making someone else cry…in a good way, of course.

Take from this whatever you wish, as it’s by no means the gospel for everyone. At any rate, that’s my sermon for the day 🙂

xo,

N

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Easter Week

April 3, 2012 by 7 Comments
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The Easter Haul a few years ago

Is it really time to do baskets, again? That’s all I can think about. Commercialism at its finest, I know.

Although I’m a good person, I suspect I might be a terrible Christian, headed to Hell in my very own handbasket for thinking of this first. Before really reflecting on Easter, and the days leading up to it. At least I’m honest though. And for what it’s worth, while in church this past Sunday, the thought did cross my mind that I should watch “The Passion of the Christ“ again. Hmm.

Maybe what I am trying to say….admit, I suppose…is that I wasn’t really raised understanding the root of the religious holidays. Of course, I know the stories. The ones printed in simplistic language in children’s books, because I have read them to my girls. Ironically, we seemed to only attend church ON HOLIDAYS when I was growing up. Yes, I claim Christianity as my faith and basis for religious belief. But I have never read the Bible cover to cover, can’t quote scripture, and avoid discussions about religion, because…

I feel inadequate and lost talking about something I don’t really know a lot about. 

Dare I say, it makes me very uncomfortable.

“Why?” I ask.  I’m smart. I can learn, can’t I? And what’s more, I really believe there is something bigger than me, keeping watch. How else can I explain the little miracles I experience from time to time? Or the fact that whenever I attend this one specific church, I cry as soon as the music begins. Isn’t that me being “overcome by the spirit”? That being said, I have no explanation as to why, or what my idea about it is. My logical brain, geared for tangible thought, can’t wrap itself around the notion of a being, sitting up in the clouds, behind a set of pearly gates on a throne. Nor can I say I believe in a horned demon under the ground, wielding a pitchfork, keeping watch over the fiery pits of Hell.

To me, Heaven would be an endless Dave Matthews Band concert where I could lose myself in the music while dancing forever, surrounded by all my friends and family, who of course, love DMB as much as I do.  Now THAT’S Heaven!! And Hell? Lately, I would almost certainly tell you I’m going through it. Right here on Earth. But that is another blog. Just go back into the archives and read 🙂

So.

Where does that leave me? My ignorance traps me, and has for years. And I am hesitant to throw myself into the study of it all at the age of 40, for fear of being judged for not knowing already. A few years ago, I did try to take a class on religion. What I wanted was the HISTORY of religions. That was not what the class ended up being, so I dropped it, and was left at Square One. I believe it would make a world of difference in how I deal with things, respond to others, and certainly how I form friendships and nurture relationships. Oh…and parent. I wouldn’t feel like such a loser when my young daughters exhibit vast Biblical knowledge, they gained in Presbyterian school, rather than from me…their mother. There’s THAT.

I WANT to feel the presence of God in everyday life.

I WANT to feel Jesus’ arms around me, lifting me up and carrying me through when I don’t have the strength to walk on my own.

I WANT to know what I am talking about, believing in, and WHY I should. I need some irrefutable proof.

In my face.

What I am seeking…is it even possible? And how do I find it? I can’t be the first person who has asked for it. Where do I start? Point me in the right direction. All suggestions welcome.

Most of all though, I DON’T WANT to be a hypocrite, which is what I feel like when I talk about religion, or advise others to have blind faith. After all, who am I to testify to others in support of something that is clearly not working for me?

Help me, please.

I’m too old to worship the Easter Bunny, and I’m not fond of eggs.

xo,

N

Filed Under: holidays, just me, random thoughts, truths and quotes Tagged With: , ,
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