Word of the day: DANK

By definition, in the old school dictionary, this word means:

“disagreeably damp or humid; chilly; moist; clammy.”

However, The Man and I were presented with a different definition entirely, last evening, at the end of our adventure. While riding the elevator up to our hotel room after seeing The Dave Matthews Band in concert in Irvine, a guy sharing the ride with us says “Man, is that you two? Are you really that DANK?” Shocked, The Man replies “What?!!!” And the other guy says, “You smell like you smoke a lot of weed.” I started laughing, and as we walked out of the elevator, said “Um….no. We just came from the DMB show.”

So, we now know that DANK in that context, is, according to the Urban Dictionary an expression frequently used by stoners and hippies for something of high quality.”  Score one for Team Mom & Dad….lol 🙂

That was just the END of the night though. We learned a few other things along the way. Mind you, this was not our first DMB show. We are huge fans; me much more so that The Man, as I have been following Dave since I was in college, over a decade ago. Wait…did I just admit that out loud? Oops. Anyway, it had been a long time since we had been to THAT venue.

Here are a few useful tips we gathered, like the crumbs left for Hansel & Gretel. Make note, they may come in handy when you decide to have a concert date night, and relive your younger years. LOL.

1. If you stay at a hotel, make sure it’s within reasonable walking distance to the venue.

2. If your hotel is not within walking distance, DO NOT take a cab to the concert. Just accept that you can’t imbibe in any spirits, suck it up, and drive.

3. The old sports injuries involving your knees and feet, will flare up under the strain of excessive walking. Guaranteed.

4. The other 85,000 people who are also waiting for a cab at midnight in the middle of nowhere, couldn’t care less that you are limping. Every man for himself.

5.  Offering to pay triple for a cab that someone else called for a pick up doesn’t work. Cabbies are surprisingly loyal.

6. Expect to be told how “dank” you smell after the show, if you have been surrounded by many hippies lost in their happy place. Don’t looked shocked, because that instantly makes you very uncool.

7. Don’t spend the extra money per ticket for entrance into the “VIP lounge” if it’s optional. The drinks are not complimentary, but rather, more expensive, and the catering sucks. Big time.

8. It IS possible to ruin lo mein noodles, and transform them into something resembling a spear that could be used as a deadly weapon. I realized this while eating in the “VIP Lounge”. Yuck.

9. If you have given birth more than once, carry extra undies. No matter what, if you have to pee so bad you are crossing your legs and hopping up and down, the lines to ALL the restrooms will be wrapped around the building. At that point, there are 3 acceptable options: say a prayer, find a bush or wet your pants. (I went with the 4th, usually unthinkable option: have your husband block the door to the men’s room, cover your eyes while passing the urinals, and head straight for the empty stall. I was in and out in less than a minute. True story.

10. You know John Mayer’s career is officially over when venue employees are trying to sell tickets to an upcoming show for $20, and nobody bites. Everyone was more interested in the free “Colgate Wisps” being handed out.

Hope you had as much fun reading this as I did living it. Got another show at the Hollywood Bowl tomorrow night, so stay tuned!!!

 

 

Comments

  1. Hilarious!!

Give it to me straight. I can take it :-)

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