For the last week and a half, I’ve had the ‘super flu/cold sent straight from Satan’s special collection’. Oh, joy…lucky me!! Felt, and looked like a big rig hit me, saw I was still moving, backed up and ran over me again just for fun. FOR TEN DAYS. But today, finally, I was feeling better. So I decided my family needed to be fed a meal that hadn’t come from the freezer, a drive-thru or a delivery man named Long Duck Dong. Now, I’m no super mom, but dammit….I try. Even more so when I feel guilty for slacking under the veil of multi-symptom whammo cold. Sooooooo…….imagine my dismay when this glorious meal of baked chicken, salad, and homemade, cheesy mashed potatoes (as opposed to our usual Idahoan Four Cheese from the pouch) was met with the following comments:
E: The chicken is good, but I don’t like the potatoes.
T: Me either.
G: I like them!! (brown noser)
Me: What’s wrong with them? I made them from scratch, just like you asked for.
E: There are chunks of Velveeta (said as if it were a dirty word) in them.
Me: And that is a problem, why?
E: Because Velveeta isn’t good in everything.
Me: Fine. Don’t eat them. But don’t ask for homemade mashed potatoes anymore.
G: I like them!! (brown noser now hoping for dessert)
E: I can’t believe you are upset with me because I don’t like the potatoes.
Me: Well, when you are married with children and you cook for them, you’ll understand.
T: When I get married the first meal I’m going to cook is lasagna. (I don’t know where this came from because she won’t even eat lasagna.)
Me: That’s great, baby. E, what are you going to cook for your first married meal?
E: Chicken pot pie.
Me: Frozen chicken pot pie?
E: Not all chicken pot pie has to be frozen, Mom. (12 year old eye-roll)
Me: Whatever. G, what are you going to cook?
G: (blank stare)
Me: G…I asked you a question. What will your first married meal be?
G: (realizing the dessert quest is futile) Can I be done?
Me: Sure. (G leaves the table).
T: I changed my mind. When I get married, I am going to Hollywood to get Chick-fil-A for my first meal!!!
Me: That’s my girl!!! (hi-fives all around)
Watch out world, my girls are already planning!! That is, of course, because they are completely unaware that their father has no plans to let them date.
Ever.
