The Calibama Zombie Mom

2012 was a bitch for us

2012 was a bitch for us

Remember last July, when I posted over on MomsLA about the family adventure we had filming the book trailer for a zombie novel titled “100 Days of Death”?  No? Okay…well I’m not going to rehash the story, because I’ve already told it and honestly, I don’t have time to rewrite it. But if you wanna read about it, you can do so HERE. And if you want to see it, click HERE. 

What I want to do though, is update y’all.  In the past year, my good friend Kim Poirier has been working her ass off alongside the other folks over at Moving Pictures Media Group to develop this franchise to its maximum potential. And what a fantastic job she is doing…but now they are reaching out and asking YOU to be a part! Admit it…you want to know how….right?

100-days-567-x-334

Now the excitement really begins!  Moving Pictures Media Group, a successful independent film production company based out of Hollywood, California, is in pre-production for the “100 Days of Death” Feature Film, which is slated to start filming early 2013. In addition, this franchise will be accompanied by the official video game, a phone app, and of course, the “100 Days of Death” Graphic Novel” by the Master of the Macabre, Tommy Castillo.

This is where we need your help and you get to be part of our Carnival of Death! 

If you’re a fan of zombies,comics, or just a fan of horror…head over to the 100 Days of Death Kickstarter page. Donate and help get this project up and running, and you will get some awesome swag 🙂


And who knows….can’t make any promises….but you might even end up getting zombified and captured on film…just like Sugar Bean, Sweet Pea and ME!!! 

me and my zombie beans

me and my zombie beans

 

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Dedicated to the writers/bloggers of tomorrow…

oops.THAT Word.

 

To be fair, it was only the ‘ess-word’.  I mean, it’s not like I flashed the EFF or SEE words. And it was a total accident that, of course, caused an eruption of hearty laughter….in Sugar Bean’s 7th grade, Advanced English class last Thursday.

You see, after Sugar Bean oh so proudly told her teacher that I write a blog, she began following, and then asked me to come and speak about the benefits of good grammar skills in everyday life, the advantages of having an English degree, and the blessing that came from writing my thoughts down right here and having them turn into a job. That pays. A little 🙂

Anyway, I was delighted to go in and speak to the students. I’ve never been asked to do such a thing. Of course, that could be because I’ve only had a blog for a little over a year, and it’s hardly proper for the under 12 crowd, don’t ya think? So I prepared ahead of time, decided the key points to talk about, and then chose 3 posts to read aloud. Sugar Bean helped in the selection process. If you would like to read the selected posts. They are here, here and here. I had planned to read this one also, but got completely flustered after “Cold Turkey” popped up onscreen while I was searching for “Good Morning, Radio Listeners”. (wtf is that about?) I had all the selected posts pulled up in different tabs on my laptop, so I could easily navigate from piece to piece, but God decided to laugh at my technical preparedness, and throw me out of sync. In other words, I couldn’t project the screen of my laptop onto the wall of the classroom. Not for lack of trying though! Luckily, my blog isn’t blocked on the school’s server (although I’d throw down a heavy bet in Vegas it is now) and we were able to use Mrs.W’s computer. Short on time, and not really remembering how to open a new window on a PC, I decided the best way to find each post quickly was to simply search. BAD IDEA. After reading the first post, I typed in the keywords for the next one into the SEARCH BOX, and was taken to a post accompanied by an image with a caption containing the ‘ESS’ word. Oh, and the background was bright yellow, as not to be missed.  Of course, the projector was working very well that day.  GO ME, right? 

Fortunately, the class was only exposed to it long enough to read it, and react with roars of laughter. Once I realized it was there, I scrolled down and pulled it from view. Then I scrolled back up by accident 2 or 3 more times, inciting more hysterics. So, I’m oh for three now.

Oh well. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Or at least that’s what Mama always said 🙂

All in all, it was a very good day. I never lost their attention, and believe they genuinely enjoyed what I had to say. The word on the street is they told Sugar Bean I was pretty, and thought I was younger than I am. That’s ALWAYS a plus! They may have even learned a thing or two, who knows? A couple of the students had questions, and although I didn’t have time to discuss them in class, I want to now.

The first question is: “Do you blog everyday?” 

The obvious answer to this is NO. However, I do write everyday. I keep a journal in my purse, and I am constantly jotting things down in it for publication later. At any given moment, my brain has 8 gazillion thoughts running through it and it’s necessary to record the ones that shine. Or else they will be gone forever…lol. I want to blog everyday, eventually. But honestly, if I put down ALL my thoughts and adventures here….someone would show up at my door and fit me for a nice jacket and room with padded walls. So I’ll just stick to publishing the important stuff. For now. 

The other question is: “Do you want to write a book one day?” 

OMG, yes. That’s a dream of mine, and honestly, I didn’t know it was a dream until I started writing. That’s years down the road though…I think. I’ve got so much more living and learning and storytelling left to do, right here on this blog before I have enough to make a whole book worth reading. As I discussed with the class, my soul-sister whom I’ve never met (but will very soon), Glennon Doyle Melton–the genius behind Momastery–has written a book. Due for release  to the public on April 2nd. In a magical moment 2 weeks ago, I was contacted by TLC Book Tours about posting a review of her book, Carry On, Warrior, here on my blog. After I peed my pants, I enthusiastically accepted. The book arrived a few days ago….

It's REALLY here!

It’s REALLY here!

And I’m reading it…right now.

Thanks again, to Mrs.W, for making me feel like a ROCKSTAR by asking me to visit my Sugar Bean’s class. And thanks to the class for laughing at the inappropriate image your eyes were drawn to. That totally turned the day into a post 🙂

 

 

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The very first sleepover

The first sleepover has happened.

That is, with Sweet Pea and one of her 2 BFF’s. Who, btw, will be referred to throughout the remainder of the post as “J” 🙂 And in honor of the momentous occasion…a first sleepover for two 6-year-old besties…. I planned a girlie adventure, and set the bar kinda high. Shocker, huh? I settled upon a trip to a little girls’ paradise. Stay with me. I swear I’ll get to the details (and pictures), but first I have to tell you about what happened on the way over the hill.

 

(a bit of expository information ) 

The room Butter Bean and Sweet Pea share is a source of frustration. I can’t keep it clean and organized, and they won’t. Therefore, it is, quite honestly…the bane of my existence….on a daily basis. So I normally just leave it alone to avoid going bat-shit crazy. However, if company is coming over, I spit shine the entire house. Including their room. I imagine that most of you do the same with guests approaching the doorstep, right? If you don’t, you either have a housekeeper, or you’ve achieved a level of “I don’t give a rat’s ass” that I aspire to. Regardless, in my Friday morning, mad dash to clean shit stuff up, I happened upon a scrap of paper in their room upon which the sentence “I love ____” was written about six times. In a row, in Sweet Pea’s 1st grade handwriting. There was a name in the blank, but I’ve left it out to protect the innocent…lol. Anyway, I sort of giggled at the discovery, left it where I found it, and moved onto the organization of doll clothes and barbies into designated wooden bins.

 

Then, on the way to The Grove, this conversation happened:

J: I wonder where _____ lives? 

SP: I don’t know.

Me: Who’s ____? (knowing full well who it is, because I have seen this little boy’s name written 3 hours earlier)

J: He’s a boy in our class.

SP: (giggling, but remaining silent)

Me: Oh. Who likes him?

J: I do. And so does SP.

SP: So does ___!!! (insert name of the other BFF who isn’t present)

Me: Wow. He’s popular! Why do all of you like him?

J: Because he’s hot!!! Except for that tooth. Something needs to be done about that.  

Me: What??!!

J and SP, in unison: He has one tooth that is really big.

J: And kind of crooked.

SP: And he’s eight.

(giggles all around, including me–because I simply can’t believe what I am hearing)

Remember, they are six years old, so it’s all incredibly innocent, and cute, but the magnitude of their observation is not lost on me. 

With this, Sugar Bean, in her infinite, 13 year-old wisdom says “This is going to be a problem in about 7 years.”  I should add, that Butter Bean has remained silent the entire time, and I am waiting for her bombshell, which never comes. *whew* Not sure I could take much more, quite honestly. The conversation ends as a One Direction song comes on, and I am subjected to “road trip karaoke” for the next half hour. Swimming in a sea of awesome, right?

A view from the front seat.

A view from the front seat.

The good news is, we made it to our destination, which was The American Girl Store, where we had an appointment to have Savannah’s, Lauren’s, and Sally’s hair done. Before you ask….yes. They have an in-store salon for such affairs, and you can pick the hairstyle you want from a page full of possibilities, priced according to the complexity. Just like in real-life. If you want highlights, you gotta pay. The prices max out at $20, which is a far cry from what I fork over when my roots shine through, but still. I am not a doll. So, here is a glimpse of what it looks like. Notice SP’s doll…Savannah…sitting in the chair behind them 🙂

Sweet Pea & J, in front of the  AG  Hair Salon

Sweet Pea & J, in front of the AG Hair Salon

While the dolls were being treated to hair makeovers, we  I decided to explore the store, and take advantage of a photo-op spot inside, and outside 🙂

J, BB and SP with "Saige"...AG's Girl of the Year.

J, BB and SP with “Saige”…AG’s Girl of the Year.

 

Dolls with cool hairstyles? Check. Cool outfits for dolls? Check. Let's roll.

Dolls with cool hairstyles? Check. Cool outfits for dolls? Check. Let’s roll.

 

After looking at every possible corner of the store, we picked up the dolls and headed out the door and across the street to our next destination….

If you live in LA, and you haven't been, you suck. Seriously. Go there now.

If you live in LA and haven’t been, you have no soul. No excuses. Go there. NOW.

Honestly, I never order dessert, hate chocolate, and avoid sugar like it’s acid. Not because I fear weight gain, or cancer, or any of the other effects said to be the result of too much sugar…but simply because I am not a sweet eater. My taste buds just prefer sour or salty. However, I do appreciate a good candy store, and holy hell….DYLAN’S is the very best one I’ve ever visited. The candy in there could have been laced with crack and I would have bought it for The Beans  (plus one), simply because of the way it was displayed. And the background music was a remix of the theme from “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” AND “Ice cream and Cake and Cake”. Talk about suggestive marketing. Screw subliminal…Dylan has it going on, and I’m certain he knows it.

Look beyond the adorable little girls, into the mecca of sugar heaven.

Look beyond the adorable little girls, into the mecca of sugar heaven.

Bags of candy in hand…and a call to The Man to see if he was gonna meet us (NO)…and we decided it was time to eat, for real. So, this was the scene at dinner:

Obviously, I couldn't be IN the picture, but I was honored to have these cuties as dinner companions.

Obviously, I couldn’t be IN the picture, but I was honored to have these cuties as dinner companions.

Major props to our waiter, Michael, for enduring the high intensity sugar-rush that took over immediately after their food was consumed. I really hope the tip was enough 🙂

The ride home was priceless. More road trip karaoke involving “Trouble” by Taylor Swift, which Sugar Bean managed to record on her phone, but I can’t figure out how to upload for your enjoyment. Major fail, I know. My apologies. But the night continued to be a party. Fingernails were painted, popcorn was popped, movies were watched, farting noises with a strategically placed straw in an armpit resonated at unnatural volumes(gee…I wonder who taught them THAT?).

And then came bedtime, which got off to a fantastic start, and ended with me making the 10 minute drive  to her house, with a tearful J at 12:30 am. Bless her heart, she fought the good fight, and wanted to stay, but just wasn’t comfortable.  I totally get it. First sleepovers are scary at six.

Wait..who am I kidding? First sleepovers are scary. Period.

But there is always next time 🙂

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The night I was styled by a ‘hooker’ :-)

Admit it…the title sucked you in, didn’t it? LOL. 

So you should know, she’s not REALLY a hooker. It’s a term of endearment that dates back to 2007, when I met a great circle of mommy friends on a (now defunct) website known as CityMommy (oh how I miss that site!). Anyway, after chatting night after night in THE RANT ROOM (thanks, Nicole), about everything from sex and parenthood, to fashion and celebs….we all had the grand idea to meet IN PERSON! And that was the night, one Heather Lerner started calling us ‘her hookers’, and it just stuck. Since then, we have all referred to each other as hookers. A merry band of mommies who have absolutely zero in common with the real women who can rightfully claim that title, aside from the fact that we’ve obviously all had sex at one point or another in our lives.  Go figure.

In the 6 years that have passed, the lot of us have either become more successful at the job we already had, or taken on other jobs in addition to the very important one of motherhood. I’ve become a voice-over actress and writer, Andrea’s now a chef, Kate has a floral design business, Alexandra is THE BEVERLY HILLS MOM, Shemaine has a successful scrapbooking business, Roxanne has an online boutique and Heather..is now our fashion and jewelry stylist extraordinare! 

So I ask you…do have my shit covered, or what? And these women just make up a handful of my talented friends! I’m one lucky bee-yotch 🙂

Anyway, it’s Awards Season here in Hollywood, and if you are in any way (including 6 degrees from Kevin Bacon) connected to the industry, chances are you have either been to a ceremony of some kind already, or you are gearing up for THE BIG ONE this Sunday night! Such was the case with The Man and me last Sunday night. We attended the Motion Picture Sound Editor’s Guild Awards (aka The Golden Reels). A great networking opportunity to mingle with talented colleagues and marvelous people in general, as well as a helluva an excuse for a much-needed date night (and some even more needed hotel sex). But of course I needed something to wear, and I knew just the hooker to call! Now, without further adieu..here is what she hooked me up with. And no, the irony of ‘hooked me up’ is not lost on me.

Can I just say how much I LOVE this ensemble?

Can I just say how much I LOVE this ensemble?

Now, to tell you “what I’m wearing”, so you can get the look too 🙂

My dress is by Lavender Brown. You can visit their Facebook page for information on the line, and to see pics of other pieces in their collections. I. LOVE. EVERYTHING. THEY. MAKE.  Gorgeous clothes in beautiful colors and fabrics at reasonable prices. You can’t go wrong here, ladies!

OH…THE JEWELS….. are all by Stella & Dot. If you don’t know Stella & Dot, then shame on you. Consider this an introduction and invitation to get cozy and become obsessed like me. Oh, and I can help you with that, btw… Just click here.

Around my neck, I am wearing the Gitane Tassel Necklace in silver and the Maya Pendant Necklace in labradorite  and on my right wrist is one of favorite pieces….the Bardot Spiral Bracelet in silver….which I wear almost everyday. Even with yoga pants and flip-flops. That’s how much I love it!

Here’s a close-up shot of the fabulous jewels I was dripping in

To die for. All must-haves.

To die for. All must-haves.

Another gorgeous piece I picked up while being styled for the Awards ensemble, and am now wearing with my Maya pendant on a daily basis is the  Interlock Cross Necklace  pictured below, on my very-much-in-need-of-a-spray-tan-neck.

Isn’t it just DIVINE?????

IMG_1366

Of course no recap of the evening would be complete without showing you MY BEST ACCESSORY…….

The Man and me in front of the step and repeat. So glamorous...lol.

The Man and me in front of the step and repeat. So glamorous…lol.

**Oh, and if you were wondering, I didn’t go barefoot. My shoes were nude, leather pumps with a hidden platform by Steve Madden. They are great and all, but hey…I don’t know him personally, and had to pay full price for the kicks. Sadly, no hook ups for this hooker.

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