Smurf Lice

Well, well, well….how did you like that magic trick yesterday? Is your entourage calling you Houdini yet? If so, welcome to the club. The Beans think I’m a rock star of epic proportions based on that display of scientific based trickery alone. Little do they know, it only scratched the surface on my bag o’ tricks 🙂

So. It’s been a crazy few weeks up in here. Which is precisely why I haven’t been showing much love to the blog. But now that The Beans are back in school (can I get a HELL YEAH?) and The Man is working again, after what seemed-like-a-century-but-was-really-only-about-a-month-off, things should be returning to normal. Maybe. I’ve still got 178 things too many on my plate, so I’ll need to figure out how to clone myself eventually.  Whatever. It’s how I roll.

Anyway, you are probably wondering what on Earth this post is about, with a title like Smurf Lice, right? The Man, of course! You see, he’s had a rough run the past few weeks. First he slammed his foot into the door frame and broke his pinky toe while fetching Butter Bean a glass of water. Then I made him go to the World Premiere of HBO’s film Clear History, starring Larry David, despite having to wear a compression cast (yes, the break is that bad…a spiral fracture, in fact), because Chicago was playing at the after-party, and I wanted to relive the experience of the very first concert I ever attended many moons ago. I didn’t have to twist his arm, if that’s what you’re thinking. After all, he did mix the film, and we’d missed 2 carefully planned date nights already, due to his damn broken piggy. So he owed me. See pics, below… HBO really knows how to party! Last but not least, I got him into this. Which turned out to be a really great time, but no thanks to me. LOL.

Back to the Smurf Lice.

A few days before the Fresh Brothers excursion, The Man called to me from the bedroom to come and inspect something on his head. Get your mind out of the gutter… I’m talking about the one on top of his neck, people. He pointed to the bothersome place, and I discovered what appeared to be a grain of blue sand. Nothing to worry about, I assured him. Just some random speck. Next! Then on the way home from the pizza party, he dug another mysterious blue bead out of his tresses and mentioned that he’d discovered its origin.  “Really?” I said, “Do tell.” He explained that at some point he’d run out of shampoo, and started using my body wash to clean his hair. Why he didn’t just use MY shampoo, I don’t know. Could it be because the shit is like gold in a bottle, and I threatened to cut the hands off anyone who even looked like they were thinking of using it? Noooo…that couldn’t be it. At any rate, this is what he used:

Be warned. Using this on your head will give you smurf lice.

Be warned. Using this on your head will give you smurf lice.

Notice the blue specks (aka exfoliating beads) pictured on the label? Yep. You guessed it. Smurf lice. Needless to say, The Beans and I had a really good laugh at his expense. Poor guy just can’t catch a break. The irony of that statement is not lost on me, btw 🙂

Okay, so here are a few photos of what may have been the best première after-party I’ve ever been to. Enjoy!!

Why yes, that is a fully functioning ferris wheel you see here!

Why yes, that is a fully functioning ferris wheel you see here!

Talk about a stage setup!!!

Talk about a stage setup!!!

This is the car--The Howard--featured in the movie. We should totally be Price Is Right models, shouldn't we?

This is the car–The Howard–featured in the movie. We should totally be Price Is Right models, shouldn’t we?

He balanced that pin on his chin from standing, down to this position, and back to standing without ever dropping it. Piece of cake, right?

He balanced that pin on his chin from standing, down to this position, and back to standing without ever dropping it. Piece of cake, right?

I stole this guy's clown nose right after the pic was taken.

I stole this guy’s clown nose right after the pic was taken.

 

** PS…If you haven’t seen Clear History yet, I highly recommend it. Just search for it on HBO…even if you aren’t a fan of Larry David. I laughed from beginning to end. Seriously. 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Too funny, mine once used nair because he thought it was lotion 🙂

Give it to me straight. I can take it :-)

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